But that it's sad is what's so great about it!
Granted, it's no longer sad. Intead of a film noir style, it is now a romantic comedy. With slapstick humor. In the end, Max can't take the sheer happiness of it, and decides to kiss his gun. So maybe it was sad after all?

I wish I could play the guitar.

Hmmmm... you got a point, Viking. But now that Sam Lake's stopped writing the third game, we don't know how he'll be.

Granted, you know how to play the guitar. As soon as you started strumming, one of the strings snapped and struck you in your heart for some odd reason, halting all blood pumping.

I wish Sam Lake is writing Max Payne 3.

Granted. However Sam Lake died exactly 13 seconds prior to your wish.

I wish lights weren't so bright.

Oh shiyet Sam Lake can't die!!! *cry*

Well, your wish has been granted. Lights aren't bright anymore.... which makes you a vampirious vampire after a long exposure to darkness. You go out there to stalk for blood, only to be discovered by Twilight fans. They say you're a shitty vampire because your skin doesn't sparkle. You try to miserably kill yourself because you keep getting tormented by fans, but fail to do so. Instead, you kill all of them, creating a better good for society.

I wish 4 inmate ships crash down into four different planets, forcing them to create their own society and stumbling upon two or more unknown life forms.

Granted.


Unfortunately, you were on one of the inmate ships. One of the Unknown Alien Life-forms was me. I ended up annoying everybody, including you, to death.



I wish that Mallic would insult me.

Granted, I insult your useless ass until you get so demoralized that you jump off a cliff in hopes of killing yourself, but you are so retarded you somehow end up inverting gravity and killing millions of people. After gravity is normalized, the survivors tie you to a chair and rip out your fingernails one by one while paying a hobo to chew bits of flesh off of you while pooring vinegar and salt in the wounds. They then insert a taser into your rectum and buzz you continuously until the end of time.



I wish I was a cat

Granted. You get mauled by rabid dogs.

I wish the Prodigy would produce a new album already.

Granted. The Prodigy released new albums.... right in front of you. Throwing the CD's at you like boomerangs. There were so much CD's that got stuck on you that you died of blood loss.

I wish we get a new, more badass desktop computer that can replace this any day (well, we already have a mac but I think it's found its place downstairs).

Hahahahaha..

Granted. Cars don't have shitty engines. They have NASA engines. They tested one in your car. Your car accidentally flew to space once you started it. Once the fuel ran out (which was after 5 years of misery), you crash like a comet into the earth, dying a burnt and sad death. You later find out that you were one of the sacrifices to a new technological advancement.

I wish I always feel like going out of the house to practice driving.

Granted. Unfortunately, you're living in 1758; they don't drive cars.

I wish this wish didn't corrupt.

Granted. The wish didn't corrupt. It killed instead. It killed you.

I wish I can go to school in the spring instead.

Granted. The spring now lasts 365 days and you have to attend on a 24/7 basis.

I wish baggy hoodies and jackets wouldn't feel so fucking uncomfortable.

Here's a solution don't wear them...


Anywho, granted. It's so comfortable that you start using it to masturbate with. People notice the newly forming whitespots on your jacket and you get ostracized from society and made fun of until you commit suicide.



I wish that FN = Gm1x m2 / D2 was really G = (X/Z)U
G being gravity, x being the weight of your fatass mother, z being the planet, and u being the number of people who got that this was a joke about your mother being heavier than the planet before this last part of my sentence.

This post has been edited by mallic on August 04, 2010 03:56 pm

Granted. Unfortunately logic kicked in and an asteroid collided with Earth.

I wish I could type faster on this thing.