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Elite viking |
Posted: December 20, 2004 04:04 pm
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![]() Veteran Lord Carnage ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Old BB:S Betatesters Posts: 2471 Joined: December 16, 2004 ![]() |
This is just the first chapter. No real action ... yet
![]() Quarantine a zombie story The lucky ones died first Chapter 1: Just another day The alarm on the bedroom table began ringing, telling Michael Novick to rise and shine. Michael was groaning. He wasnt one of those freaks just itching to get out of bed after their sleep. What was the point? Eventually he got out of bed, finding his clothes in a pile on the floor. He wasnt into fashion, just a wool sweater and some jeans. He went downstairs. In the kitchen he turned on the radio, before he opened the fridge. It wasnt much in there, just some cheese, milk and a few sauces way past the expiring date. Buy more cereals and fruit, he reminded himself while slicing bread. Standing there he listened to the news. Tragic deaths still remains a mystery. They are currently in the morgue for research. Witnesses have claimed the four had greyish-white skin and bloodstained clothes when seen stumbling around when they suddenly dropped bleeding to the ground. One of the shocked witnesses, Andy Leaf, said the victim looked as he had been bitten on his hand. More on this later. Now, over to reports of gunfire that has made the police take drastic Strange Michael said to himself. Four pale bodies that had been bitten? He was jerked away from the daydreaming by a scraping sound. It came from the door. Whos there? he said loudly out in the entrance. No answer, but someone began pounding He yelled again. He walked up to the door, puzzled. alright, alright Im coming, Im coming! he said while wondering just who the heck who could be out there When he opened the door, nothing seemed out of the normal, except the way Larry, the mailman, was behaving. He just stood in the entrance, hands raised. He looked ill. Larry? You okay? Larry mumbled back, but began to take interest in Michael. Lets get you inside. You look like you could need some coffee. I know, Im dead tired in the morning. All he got as answer was Larry beginning to move onwards into Michaels house. Now he was really getting nervous. He began noticing things with his mailman. He was pale. His eyes were red and blurry, like they didnt focus on anything. And were that blood stains at his neck? Novick took a step back. Now the guy was snarling and looked like an animal, about to attack. Calm down, man, what is it? Suddenly he lunged against Michael. A jolt of adrenaline shot into him, and he dodged. He began running up; scared of the way his friend was acting. He seemed possessed. Hey! Stop it! What are you doing? Nothing he said had any effect. He just came after him up the stairs, the left foot limp, bumping against the stairs. He could distinguish one word amidst all the hissing and mumbling. Flesh. Now Novick panicked, and stood still at the top of the staircase, sweating. He could think of only one thing: to get away from that monster. He ran into the bedroom and pushed his locker over to block the door. With former mailman Larry out there hissing and throwing itself at the door, Novick searched for a weapon. He had never had a gun, but saw the need of it now. He opened drawers and threw out one sweater after another, until he found a small pocketknife. Thats it? he squealed in shock. He wouldnt have a chance. The door was giving in. Wood splinters were all over the floor, and knob had fell off. He couldnt stay here much longer. So he took the knife, a thick jacket for protection and jumped out the window. He landed hard, and took a moment to let the stinging in the legs. A shriek sounded in the distance, followed by other weaker ones, but Michael couldnt care less. He ran over to his neighbour and began pounding on the door. Open up! Help! Let me get in! Not a sound. For some moments he continued his knocking, until he realised no one were in there. He used all of his bodyweight to burst it open, and it worked. Inside he gasped in horror. On the floor he saw blood everywhere. Three dismembered bodies with barely remaining heads laid there. One of them was Ted, he who used to live there, lying there with a barrel to his head. Five shell casings from a shotgun explained what had happened. Jesus was all Michael could say. For a while, all he could do was stare at the bodies, all pale and with torn clothes. What is this some kind of plague? He heard something buzzing and sparking. It was a TV. He walked as quiet as he could, sneaking into the dining room where a TV was upside-down on the floor. Plague is n-now confirmed in s-several places in t-the c-c-city. It turns peoplemad at first, after they get bitten, t-they drop, as theyre dead. But suddenly rise up, only to be a t-t-threat to those near and de-dear. They hungerfor human flesh And the only sure thing to kill them is severe d-damage to the head, so that the brain is comp-pletely gone. L-like this The reporter loaded a shell into a shotgun, and waved the cameraman over to a window. What he saw made Michael want to throw up. Hundreds of things similar to Larry were wandering around in the street, bent over bodies, feasting on them. Some were still alive, letting out pitching shrieks leaving an echo in his ears He was taken back into reality by the blast the shotgun made. Two of the monsters fell to the ground, one without head. All the heads turned, facing the camera crew. An-d r-remember, never shoot if you c-can avoid it. These bastards hear youand if it werent for that weve locked the news studio we would have been dead nowwhat? A man ran into view. Why the hell did you do that? Every zombie in the streets heard you firing! Stop filming and follow me! We got to barricade the doors! The ground began shaking, and the cameraman lost his balance. Oh God the doors are giving in! We have to block them before they get in! The camera was thrown away, and on the TV was nothing but static... Michael became aware of all the sounds in the distance. Yelling, popping from gunfire, explosions And the trembling screams of the dying. Oh my God... Before that day, Michael Novick never had faith. Nov he believed. In hell I will try to add chapters as often as I can. |
-=Jouni=- |
Posted: December 20, 2004 05:28 pm
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Elite zombie Butcher ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Members Posts: 1456 Joined: December 07, 2004 ![]() |
Pretty nice, keep it up.
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Elite viking |
Posted: December 20, 2004 07:25 pm
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![]() Veteran Lord Carnage ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Old BB:S Betatesters Posts: 2471 Joined: December 16, 2004 ![]() |
Chapter 2: Under quarantine
For a long time, all Michael could do, was to stare at the body of Ted, his neighbour. A long time later, he couldnt stand the smell in there. He had to get out of here. He would get into his car and then leave the city. So he opened the door, got out and hurried over to his own car. Luckily it was parked outside the house. Michael got into the car, ignited the engine and stepped on the gas. While driving he gawked in horror. The city was a horrible sight. Bodies were strewn everywhere. Some houses sere occupied by people, firing wildly at the zombies, or whatever they were. A lot of them chased his car for a while. Some places the road was almost blocked by undead, and he had no choice but run them over. The car got countless bumps and the glass was beginning to crack. He had to use the window washers to remove all of the blood. A man running in the streets yelled at Michael, trying to make him stop. He was almost cornered by zombies. Michael kept driving. In the rear mirror he saw the man had a bite mark. His relief was past anything he had felt before when he was seeing an end to the city. He was going to make it! Just ahead he saw marines fighting off a group of zombies. He raced over to meet them, and was just passing the Intel building when a military chopper passed above him. A man inside with a Megaphone shouted, Turn around! Turn back, or we will open fire! Michael yelled back, Why? What the hell is going on? He was barely heard trough the constant flap-flapping of the chopper. This city is under quarantine. Anything moving will be shot! Now get away from that skyscraper, we are going to blow it up! One of the soldiers fired a three-round burst at his car, proving they were serious. Michael had no choice but to drive back into hell. He U-turned back, with screeching tires. Moments later a shockwave ripped trough the car and smashed out the remaining glass in his car. Looking back, he saw several skyscrapers being blown up. They formed a big wall around the city, making sure the plague would not infect the rest of the world Now pairs of choppers were hovering over the city, spreading the same message. This city is under quarantine. I repeat, the city is under quarantine. Until the plague is under control, do not try to move out from the blockade. Everyone seen close the walls are shot at sight. This is to ensure the plague not spreading. All survivors are advised to team up with others, find a safe place, stock up with supplies, and stay there until the situation is calmed down. This city is under quarantine. I repeat Michael drove all he could back to his neighbourhood. He had to pack supplies. It seemed to be a rather zombie-free area. He rammed the car in front of Teds house, trying to block the entrance as best as he could. After squeezing himself trough, he immediately began searching for a hammer and some nails. He found it in a toolbox, and nailed planks and wooden furniture over windows and doors. He went over the place, making sure no place where anything could enter wasnt blocked. The zombies were scratching at the house, but at the moment no serious damage was done. Meanwhile Michael was busy packing gear. It wasnt that he werent frightened. He just couldnt afford being it. Michael knew that without guns, he would be doomed. His neighbour was a fan of hunting, so it should be a locker with rifles in the house. The rifle Ted had used to end the pain was used up, and seemed to be too weak. Come on where the heck is it? Michael was getting really angry, not finding anything. Finally, in the bedroom, he found what he was searching for. A locker containing a Winchester rifle and a buckshot shotgun, along with some boxes of ammunition. Finally. Filling his backpack and pockets with rounds and shells he was almost ready to go. The zombies were getting worse out there. The streets were getting crowded, and two hunting weapons couldnt get him out of there. And the door was making cracking sounds. If he could distract them in some way His friends had said it was weird, and that hed never be able to use it. He had seen a place how to make a firethrower out of a water gun. You just filled it with gasoline, taped a lighter at it and pressed the trigger. Only difference was that he used a garden hose. That, in addition to first spraying unignited gasoline down would clear a street as good as anything. Well, who laughs now, suckers? Michael had no mercy or whatsoever left for the beasts down there. He went up to the roof, with his stuff ready on his back He had taken on the thickest clothes he could find with kneecaps and a helmet, lessening the possibility of getting bit. He turned on the hose. Spraying out a flow of highly ignitable liquid, Michael was wondering what kind of person he was turning into. He had been a peaceful guy, never got into trouble He had been in the army, but all he did was shooting on targets. He didnt think back then that he was capable of killing. But then again, these werent human beings. He lit the lighter. |
Elite viking |
Posted: December 21, 2004 04:20 pm
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![]() Veteran Lord Carnage ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Old BB:S Betatesters Posts: 2471 Joined: December 16, 2004 ![]() |
I really want comments. I can't continue without the public saying what they want.
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Grey Snake |
Posted: December 21, 2004 04:28 pm
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![]() Clean up Crew ![]() Group: BB Betatesters Posts: 1295 Joined: November 16, 2004 ![]() |
Good Story!
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Lord_Of_The_Pings |
Posted: December 21, 2004 05:24 pm
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Experienced Killer ![]() ![]() Group: Members Posts: 57 Joined: December 12, 2004 ![]() |
There are some bits that don't make sense, such as the flame thrower bit.
Apart from that the story is good, but try and come up with more original stuff, I saw some stuff from other stories and films in there. Try and avoid using other setpieces and think up your own. Ok so here's a couple of questions: Will Michael find other survivors? Why did Ted kill himself? Does michael have any relatives? Try and implement some more information about your charachter to deepen him and give the reader a better view of what kind of person he is. Apart from that good story! ![]() |
Elite viking |
Posted: December 21, 2004 08:24 pm
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![]() Veteran Lord Carnage ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Old BB:S Betatesters Posts: 2471 Joined: December 16, 2004 ![]() |
To clear things up a bit: Ted shot himself because he got bit and was becoming one of them. Didn't stand there but was what i meant.
The flamethrower "high pressure cleaner" (i'm Norwegian, didn't know the word for it) was a high pressured garden hose. I've edited to try and give it more sense. And for the rip-offs : I have tried doing this after my own mind. After i posted it, I saw other topics with some of my ideas posted earlier. I will try to make new original ideas from now on...Please tell me if you see things already used Thanks for the responses. It's what improves stories, so that you know what to improve ![]() |
Coochy |
Posted: December 22, 2004 02:42 am
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![]() Just another Survivor ![]() Group: Members Posts: 17 Joined: December 19, 2004 ![]() |
greattttt story...want more more more! Maybe he'll meet up with the military?
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Elite viking |
Posted: December 22, 2004 10:51 am
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![]() Veteran Lord Carnage ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Old BB:S Betatesters Posts: 2471 Joined: December 16, 2004 ![]() |
He won't meet the military that soon.... They have locked the city down, and Michael have to stay allive until they go in, which..... won't be that soon
Happy that you liked it ![]() |