Chapter 2


"All right, I'm fucking pissed." Said Nick as he readjusted his robe and dragged the officer's body to his back yard and through him in a hole Nick always kept dug in case this sort of thing happened.

Nick quickly threw dirt over the man's body, now in a garbage bag, Nick then laid down some grass seeds and went back inside. The man's blood was all over Nick's hands. He went up stairs and took a shower; the hot water and the flowery scent calmed Nick as he thought of his next move.

"Carlos... that dirty fucking Mexican..." Said Nick as he dried himself with a fluffy, but absorbent bath towel.

He pulled on some black cargo pants, a tight black t-shirt, black socks, and a black leather jacket and went back down stairs and then into his basement.

He pulled a piece of string and a bulb dimly lit the basement, Nick went al the way to the corner and there was a small, midget sized door which Nick opened and crawled in.

He flicked on the light switch and there was a completely white room, lighted by florescent bulbs along the ceiling.

There were all types of guns, and other weapons too. Nick walked over to one of the three rifle racks and pulled off a Moss berg shotgun, with a red dot tactical sight. He put it down and opened up a drawer bellow the rifle racks and pulled out a box full of Moss Berger 12 gauge shells and loaded the gun. He then put the shell box in a large brief case; that Nick rigged to hold shell boxes and magazines. And he slid the Moss Berger into a duffel bag.

He grabbed an M4 and put it in the duffel bag, followed by 10 mags in the brief case.

A KAR-98 and a box of shells.

A Winchester and a box of shells.

A Benneli and a box of shells.

And finally, Nick's prized possessions an AK-47 and 15 Banana Clips and 5 200 round drums.


Nick put the brief case and duffel bag out the midget door and moved on to the pistols.

He grabbed his Glock 20, and 15 magazines.

He grabbed his Desert Eagle with adjusted springs and 12 extended clips.

He grabbed his Colt .45 and 10 mags.

He grabbed his .44 Magnum and 150 rounds.

He put them all in duffel bags and put the out the midget door, he had no time to admire the polished and well oiled, shinning slide of the desert eagle, or the barrel so polished on the magnum you could see yourself in it.

He then grabbed a homemade Bludgeon, that looked like a metal rod with a lead ball welded to the tip, and a rubber grip.

He Went over to his knifes and grabbed 2 switchblades, each with 6 inches of steel.
Then a hunting knife, a whole 12 inches of steel, sharpened to a razor.
Then a survival knife, much like the on in Rambo.
And Finally a machete, 2 feet of steel.

Nick grabbed all his gear, making 2 trips, and loaded everything into the trunk of his Mercedes hybrid off road SUV And drove off to his friend Carlos' house, He suspected the cop showing up was Carlos, a dirty drug dealer, ratting on Nick for helping Carlos out with something.

comments would be nice, but i will continue the story in about 20 minutes

Nick was on the road, driving fast, 60 Mph on a 30 MpH zone. Nick could have ended the who appidemic right there, He saw a skinny, geeky looking man in a lab coat, soaked in blood, chasing a group of teenagers. Nick decided to just get to Carlos'.

He pulled up, he drove past the house scaning it for guards, only 2. He parked a block down the road. He strapped on a combat knife, with an 8 inch blade, the front was razor sharp, and the back had a false edge, and also halkf of the back was serated. He then loaded on 2 lapel knifes. He put a stileto knife in his boot and then strapped both of them on tight.

Nick decided he would go light, He straped a desert eagle on a shoulder holster with 2 more clips and put on a leather jacket. He then loaded his Mossberg into a long box that read, "Anne's rose's, They smell so good, They could kill ya'." He then Walked out of the car with his rose box and his adrenaline was pumping.

He arrived at the booth with the steel gate.

The guard looked towards Nick, a drop a sweat rolled down the back of his head sending a chill through his spine.

"Name, Business, and Reason to be here please sir." Said the Rent a Cop, packing a stun stick, mace and a nine-mil.

"Jeffery Higgins, Anne's Roses, Dilivery of roses" Said Nick.

"Let me inspect your box sir." Said the rent a cop opening the booth's door and steping out. Nick dropped the box of roses to the floorand the gruad went down to inspect it and Nick readied himself, the man was sliding open the box when Nick striked.

Quickly ripping both lapel knifes from his sleeve he jabbed one dicertly into the man's vocal coards and voice box, so he could scream, he then lifted the man of of his knees. The Man was gasping for air, try to find some was to call out, his neck soaked with blood His head lowered then man would die in about 20 minutes, Nick was going to finish it quick though. He looked the man in his blue eyes, and the eyes franticly rolled around.

Nick shoved his lalpel knife under the mans rib cage, still staring into the mans eyes and puncsured his heart. Nick thrusted agian and the heart was torn he then thured agian and then once to the left as the heart was torn to shreds and the mans lung puncsured,

Nick watched as the mans eyes becuase blood filled with pain and the rolled back wards and his mouth fell open, and his body went limp.

Nick threw the mans body into the booth and wiped himself and his knifes with a towl he found in the booth, he opened the gate and walked in. He closed the gate behind him.





Nick walked to the front door and rang it three times.

The door creaked open as a large bald white man appeared. He was 6 feet 7 inches in height, broad shouldered and barrel chested and Nick said "Room service mother fucker".

Nick wiped out the shot gun and cocking it at once and then before he could brace himself for the recoil he fired at the mans chest. Nick's arm shot back and the 15 hunting shots ripped the man apart, the recoil sent the gun downwards and shreaded his groin area. and Nick could clearly see where the main bullet had hit, right in the center.

The Man stopped dead in his stance, his suit burned from the muzzle flash. Nick gave the man a poke in the neck and he fell over. Nick walked into the house. And walked through the hallway way, no time to think about the beauty of the house.

Nick walked threw the hallway as two more guards came running down Nick could make out the faces but they were big. They both wipped out Beretta 9-mils. and unloaded towards Nick who flipped over a a spanish steel table and duck behind it, He then popped up and shot a shotgun blast, aimed in between both of them. He Ffired, the buck shot hit one of them in the neck and the other one had his arm shreaded. They still fired at Nick.

Nick heard the bullet fly past his head as another one clipped him in the ear.

Nick dropped downacting lifeless, his hand one the shot gun trigger. The two men came over to investigate as Nick jumped up and fired at the one on the left's head, turning it into a lower jaw, with a mush of red on top.

He then hit the other man inthe head with the shot gun with the pistol grip of it. the man dropped down.

Nick Slammed his foot down on the mans skull, crushing it.

Nick felt his ear, it was ok, bleeding, but ok. He ran down the hall and found Carlos' office, two guards outside. HE shot the m both with no trouble. he kicked open the door to find carlos inside, under his desk. He lifted him up by the hair and kicked him in the shin.


"Nick, mang what du fuck?" Carlos said as nick threw carlos to the ground, Nick took out a car steering wheel lock and jammed it between the 2 door handles.




" You dirty piece of shit." Said nick as he slung hi shot gun ovcer his shoulder and took out his Deagle.

"Look mang, i dunno what you talkin' bouts mang" Said Carlos, shaking on the floor.

Nick walked over to him, aimthe the gun and Carlos' balls. "Get agianst the fucking wall, you back to me, NOW!"

Carlos did so.

"Don't worry, I ain't gonna kill you." Said Nick as he took the saftey off of the Deagle.

"Den whats da gun for mang?" Carlos said as he let out a sigh of relief.

"This" Nick said as he shot carlos in both of the back of the knee caps, shattering them both.

Carlos screamed in pain.

"Is it money you want mang? Cuase ill give you money mang." Said carlos as he fell to the ground.

Nick lifted carlo's shaved head up, looking at the tattoo on his neck of a cross. Nick slammed Carlos's head down on the floor.

"Do you think I want you fucking shit eater, I just killed Six men and thanks to you I had to kill a fucking cop, that tryed to fucking eat me this morning" Said Nick as he walked away from carlos.

"Here Mang, Here. Take My Boat, its a nice boat, its a sailing boat with an engine, you can live on it too, it has 2 storys mang, 3 bedrooms also mang. And here take this, Key to that closet over there, mang there are guns mang, just please mang, please." Carlos said as he threw Nick two keys, one was tied to an orange thing with the boats name and the dock it was on.

"ITs a start" Said Nick as he slammed carlos' head on the floor agian.

"Here mang Here, take dis too, there in a safe in dis room over there and in the room with the guns, dis one has fine ligours and da one in de gun room has MRE and rations mang please dont hurt me no more" Said carlos.

Nick opened up the gun room and loaded a derigner and another desert eagle and as much ammo as he could find into a duffle bag, and then he opened the safe and loaded all the MREs into a back pack and a duffle bag. HE open the safe with liquer in it to find a pound of ganja. he decied to throw it in, he could sell it. He also took a box of cubans. he then ripped off all the selfs.


He lifted up carlos and threw him in the safe. He picked up a bottle of bacardi 151 and threw it in the safe. He then picked up a bottle of Jack Daniels and took a swig then poured it on carlos. He kicked carlos in the ribs and then poured more liquer up the wall, he taped a cigerate to the wall of the safe and doused the filter and the end of the cigerate in liquer and lit the cigerate, shot carlos in the hands, and in the side of the lung. He then walked away, but first he took another bottle of bicardi 151 and made a trail ouside of carlos' office all around the house, then he shmashed bottle in carlos' office and lit the trail of bacardi at the front door and ran to his car with all his bags.


The house caught a flame as Nick drove off.

comments? Questions? Feedback?

um did anyone even read this?

Huh? Read what?


lol j/k, still reading at the moment.

Now that's some really violent stuff Nikku. I enjoyed the torture and all, but tone it down just a bit. You make Nick sound like some crazy drunk motherfucker who watched to many horror movies. I laughed when Nick shoved Carlos in the safe though, thats pretty fucked up.

The one thing that is bothering me right now is your word/sentence flow. Instead of everything Nick does having its own sentence, try to combine the actions more so you have a steadier flow. Right now its like in short bursts. Also try to vary your word choice more too. For example:

"He lifted up carlos and threw him in the safe. He picked up a bottle of bacardi 151 and threw it in the safe."

Instead, you could say something like:

"He lifted up Carlos, threw him in the safe, and then tossed a bottle of bacardi 151 in the safe as well."

Please keep writing!

This post has been edited by Security Corporate on August 19, 2006 11:16 pm

thanks for the CC and the complamantes (spelling lol) i will definqaatly use them later on, and yes i know he seems very evil, i am going for that, don't worry, it will be toned down, soon i will introduce some more main charaters, and if someone whishes to be nin the story, simply explain your job, apperaince, weapons, personality, etc., and will incorperate you in, oh yeah, and your name, lol


i also will be need some soliders.... so forums members can be involved in that also.

This post has been edited by Nikku on August 20, 2006 12:22 am

Name: Tristian Drake

Age: 33

Appearance: A little over six feet. Almond hair and eyes, fair skin. Wears full body armor during sieges, and wears regular uniform during investigations.

Fitness: Slender built. Ripped, but it's not obvious.

Personality: Calm and collective until provoked.

Specialities: Submachine guns and tracking.

Background (if you can use this) : An ATF agent sent to find and arrest the highly dangerous hitman "Nick".

Add me in plzkthxbye.

This post has been edited by Security Corporate on August 20, 2006 01:55 am

don't leave im intro ducing your charater as we speak.

Dont worry, I'm signed on to these forums 24/7. Notice how I'm ALWAYS here everytime you sign back in? Even when my computer turns off or I delete my cookies, for some reason I'm still signed in. Creepy.

Triston

Trison looked down at his coffee, it was weak, and he hated it, he looked around at the small dinner as he poured about 4 teaspoons of sugar in his watery excuse for a coffee. He was starring at a picture of man, one he hardly knew, yet he was supposed to find him, and capture him. The man looked as if he would be invisable in a crowed, he blended well, and he was extremly armed and even more so dangerous.

With that thought finding its way through the deep caverns of his mind he moved his shoulders around as to adjust the shoulder holster he was wearing. He could feel the handle and the extended magazine of his sub machinegun. It was something new from TMP, it could hold about 32 5.72 High impact rounds, the bullets traveling roughly twice the speed of a normal bullet. It had a built in silencer making it as quiet as a can of soda opening. He had 5 extra clips for it that he could also feel throughout his body.

He had a large knife tied onto his leg, about 7 inches long and as sharp as a razor.

He decided the coffee was unaceptable as he finished it and walked out the door with out paying. He stepped onto the sidewalk with a sigh and walked looking at the floor down the street as he put his mirrored sunglasses on.

About 5 minutes into this nice a relax walk he caught the glimpse of a man stumbling after him slowly, he decided to see if the man was following him as he quickly turned down an alleyway and jogged about ten feet. He breathed quietly and quickly as adrenaline was ready to pumpinto his vains while he took of his glasses and used them as a mirror to look behind him, and sure enough there was the man, relativly close.

The man raised his hand to strike Triston has Triston grabbed his own fist and trusted his elbow into the mans solar plex with such force as to lift the man upward, off the ground and have him fall onto the cement. He wipped out his gun and aimed at the mans head with a calm "Don't you move at all". The man stumbled to his feet and lunged at him as triston stepped oout of the way but he kept his gun there, the barrel hitting the man's stomache as he gave a shot off, the man bounced back a bit.

A small sliver of light enable Triston to see the man's face, or what once was a face, nothing was left, just ripped tissue, and the man's neck was torn. Besides this man's injury and the bullet Triston just put in his heart, he continued to swing at him. Triston kicked the man in the breast bone, knocking him to the ground and shot once more at the thing's neck, it still moved.

His old theroy of a bullet proof vest was cancled as he was left speechless, as he put two bullets in the things head, and walked away.

Yay, zombies! And I can drink coffee without paying...bitch!

You spelled me name wrong though! It's TrisTIAN.

Hey Nikku, I like your story so far. It's real different from all the other zombie stories I've read. Noones taken a story from a hitman's perspective. Also, the tone of your story is really dark. It inflicts a lot of emotion on the reader, even when nothing serious is happening. It's a great, little read and I hope you continue with it.

Things I liked:
Originality
Realistic Characters - Though they're a little too messy/dark, they sound very much like real people and not just some quickly made-up story-book characters.
Tone of the story - Like I said above, the story has a great evilish tone to it.

Things you might want to fix:
Grammer - Nothing big, but i have noticed a decent amount of spelling errors. Might want to check it over a couple times before posting, or write it up in Microsoft Word with spell-check, beforehand.

Overall very good story. I like the way your taking it. Plz make sure to keep writing!

This post has been edited by CrazyforRE on August 20, 2006 05:38 pm

No one else wants to be in the story? cuase i hvae some key charaters to introduce.... and it would be better if a fourm mate would want to one of them,